


Redacted

by CaptainAwesomest



Category: Secret Avengers, Young Avengers
Genre: Other, wedgie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-25
Updated: 2016-04-25
Packaged: 2018-06-04 08:43:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6650806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CaptainAwesomest/pseuds/CaptainAwesomest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to a commission I did on another site and a crossover-of-sorts with Yatterqueen's New Universal/#WedgieWednesday series'. What happens when Daisy Johnson is sent on a mission to investigate a deal between HYDRA and the Maggia, and invites a couple of other badass women with her? Well, what ever she expected to happen definitely didn't include robot wedgies, that's for sure.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Redacted

**Author's Note:**

> See here (http://awesomestpwner1.deviantart.com/art/Commission-Drone-Strike-597732697) for the commission I did that inspired me to do this; due to being a commission I'm unsure about reposting elsewhere.  
> Also see http://archiveofourown.org/series/441433 by Yatterqueen for context for a lot of stuff involved here.

"Hold off back-up, we got visual on targets."

At a shady dealing going on in an abandoned warehouse-because where else would shady dealings go on-large crates are moved in from one large truck, while another one awaits for the cargo to be moved in there. It's a pretty simple dealing, really: Madame Masque has, through her recent dealings, acquired a large number of machines affectionately dubbed 'wedgie bots', created by a handful of emotionally disturbed scientists for the sole purpose of embarrassing superheroines.

They're essentially in the beta test phase, so to speak; they keep sending waves of them after several heroines to see how they fare, then work to improve on the past problems to ensure the defeat of the heroines next time they're deployed. Because of that though, large amounts of stock are going to waste as soon as their models are proven defunct, which essentially leaves the Maggia head with a large number of robots she has no use to.

Fortunately, others are more than happy to use the robots for scrap, or at least, are willing to buy scrap robotics regardless of their purpose. Individuals such as the lovely folk over at HYDRA, for example, are always looking for resources for new weaponry and armour, and defunct robots are easily recyclable, so Masque at least gets to make some of her money back on the wasted machines, while Madame HYDRA herself, Viper, gets to simultaneously fund some chaos and get their hands on some tech to play with. Maybe HYDRA's science guys can turn them into something useful to their cause.

So, when SHIELD got word of a deal going on between the two head Madames of the two groups, and set up an op of its best agents, they figured it'd be simple, just some left-over junk that they didn't need to worry too much about, and a good chance to capture Masque and Viper in one move.

"I can see the Maggia, waiting on HYDRA though." Announces a young woman of Asian descent with short dark hair, a dark grey SHIELD uniform with a ingle pistol strapped to her leg and metal gauntlets on her arms, as she sneaks through the warehouse, ducking behind some crates.

So, a simple strike team was formed: Daisy Johnson, AKA Quake, was assigned to run the mission; being both an experienced leader (hell, she was once Director of SHIELD), as well as a powerful superhuman, she's always been effective at tackling HYDRA.

"I'm picking up heat visuals, looks like the HYDRA guys and girls coming." Another woman comments, a woman with blonde hair, a black and white body suit with bits of armour strapped about and some special techy-goggles, using them to scan the area for heat.

"Confirmed, its them." Another woman announces, perched a bit further away, watching some HYDRA goons enter, one with short red messy hair, a black body suit with combat gear, distinctive bracelets and disk-shaped containers on her belt, and using a sniper rifle to scout the area.

With her, she brought along two of SHIELD's best field agents, Bobbi Morse and Natasha Romanov, AKA Mockingbird and Black Widow; she'd been running quite a few missions with Bobbi recently and her and Natasha go way back to Fury's days as the head of SHIELD, and they're both more than effective agents for this kind of mission.

"Still haven't seen Masque yet though." The final girl adds, a raven-haired Millennial perched a bit above them, holding a compound bow, wearing a two-piece purple leather outfit and archery gear, as well as some purple shades which, unlike the other woman, aren't special or anything, just something she thinks looks cool.

The only thing that stood out was their fourth man, or rather woman, Kate Bishop, the second Hawkeye and leader of the Young Avengers. Daisy doesn't know the girl particularly well but she almost single-handedly crushed the Maggia's LA dealings a while back, and jumped at the chance to help take down Masque again.

"Looks like they're moving some stuff in, maybe she'll show up when the deal actually goes on." Bobbi suggests with a shrug, glancing back over.

"Wait, I've got eyes on Masque and Viper now; they're entering together, looks like they're talking." Widow informs them, adjusting her scope's focus as she watches two entering the warehouse, both flanked by bodyguards, with Natasha able to identify the two, recognizing Masque and her chin-length hair, a black and white body-suit that looks like a white Kevlar leotard over black tights (which to be fair, is exactly what it is), and a distinctive gold mask, while the other, Viper, keeps her hair long, has green gothic make-up, and wears a green and black sleeveless body-suit with a large green cape covering most of her body.

"...So then I was there, holding a gun that was still smoking, completely unaware of the fact that their father already surrendered his territory." Masque muses, talking to Viper as the two swap stories. "In the end, I got his land, and he _still_ lost his only heir. Crazy, right?"

"And now they're laughing." Natasha adds, trying to read their lips to figure out what they're saying.

"Hey, look it, they're opening the crates." Daisy tells the group as the two villains enter, and their people start opening the crates to show Viper what she's buying, the contents of which appear to be robots, unfamiliar to one-half of the team, but the other half recognize them.

"Oh, that is not good." Kate muses, her confident glare turning to slight discomfort.

"What? What is it?" Bobbi questions, glancing at her.

"Those robots? Those are Monica Rappaccini's wedgie-bots." Kate answers, blushing a bit.

"...What?" Daisy and Bobbi both ask in unison, though Natasha stays silent, being familiar with the robots, and having spent the past few months doing her best to avoid them.

"Um, you know I'm friends with Carmilla Black, right? Scorpion? Her Mom and a couple of people she's crossed in the past built these robots to, uh, wedgie her and anyone in their way." Kate explains, suddenly realizing how awkward the topic is, when saying it aloud to the comparatively more serious three. "See, Carmilla thinks wedgies are funny, and so she uses them when fighting villains, and friends but that's a whole other thing, and this was their revenge?"

"Seriously?" Daisy questions, completely baffled by this. "This is a serious thing that actually, seriously happens? We actually need to look out for these things?"

"What's the matter, never got a wedgie before?" Kate responds, looking at the agent in charge. She hadn't realized how absurd it actually is that wedgies have became so common in her circle of reference for someone outside of it.

"Well, yeah, I mean, I actually have a wedgie right now to be honest." Daisy starts, shuffling a bit.

"Honey, we're all crouched around wearing skin-tight outfits practically designed to hug every curve. We _all_ have a wedgie right now." Bobbi retorts simply, causing the other three to think about it and realize, she's actually right on that point. "Didn't you ever get any during SHIELD training? It was a hazing thing when I was going through it."

"Well, I kinda skipped the initial SHIELD Academy and training stuff, remember? I was trained by the OG Howling Commandos, they don't bother with hazing." Daisy explains simply, a reality that makes Bobbi a little jealous, given she's the only one here who did go through said hazing.

"Remind me to fix that at some point." Bobbi muses, before turning attention back to the mission. "So, these wedgie-bots, I assume that there's a weakness, right?"

"Um, not really? I mean, these look like they're not up to par with what I faced, but those ones only got beat when some idiot working with Rappaccini turned the power off." Kate continues.

"I'd recommend we try to take Masque and Viper down before they activate them." Natasha sums up with a small hint of a smile. "Unless any of you brought a spare change of underwear."

"I'm not going to answer that." Kate adds silently; of course she has a few stuffed into the bottom of her quiver, but that's not information she wants spreading.

"Well, I'd suggest Widow and Hawkeye move up top, get us some cover from the roof. I'll try to throw everyone off, while Mockingbird can take down Masque and Viper during the confusion-" Daisy starts, until they hear footsteps coming their way.

"Gotta-pee-gotta-pee-gotta-pee-gotta..." One HYDRA agent, evidently one with a small bladder, mutters to themselves as they run past, looking for a bathroom. They stop to turn and look around, unfortunately catching the two on the ground. "Hey! What the-"

"Damn, guess we're doing it the Mockingbird way." Bobbi faux-sighs, always being one who prefers a big-ass fight to stealth, before grinning and punching the guard in the face, knocking them down and out. "Someone _might_ want to clean up around here. Because they peed. Peed real bad. Just in case anyone didn't get that."

The guard's yell alerts others, and soon Maggia and HYDRA are coming to check out what the commotion is.

"New plan!" Daisy declares, before sending a shockwave at the on-coming guards, sending them flying back into the others. "Girls, take down everyone and keep those robots off-line!"

"Looks like the deal is compromised." Viper muses with a small eyeroll; at this point, it should be expected that any deal they have probably ends with SHIELD, Avengers, X-Men, or someone in skin-tight outfits bursting in ruining things. "Want to slip away and cut our losses? There's a really good safe house not too far stacked with alcohol and cheap entertainment."

"I'd rather stay." Masque retorts, locking eyes with Kate as the archer jumps down from her perch, launching several concussive arrows at both Maggia and HYDRA alike.

As Bobbi dives in and bashes some heads in with her batons, Natasha joins them with two pistols and her 'Widow's Sting' bracelets, while Kate fires more arrows and kicks more chins and Daisy mixes with both shockwaves and the occasional judo-flip and gun-fu move, until the four of them have cleared out every man and woman working for the two villainesses.

"Bravo girls, bravo." Viper gives them a slow, sarcastic clap, smiling as she watches the four of them group together in the centre, all too far away from the two, who stand slightly higher on a small loading dock. "You beat up some shamefully under-paid hired goons, well done."

"OK, both of you, hands on your heads. It'd save you both a lot of grief if you cooperated right now." Daisy declares, trying to be the professional one, making the two villains laugh.

"How old are you again dear? Can you even drink yet?" Masque snidely comments, causing Daisy to tense up a bit; its not a secret that she's rather young for her position, or that it annoys her to no end that she gets such little respect for it.

"Yes..." She growls under her teeth.

"Look, if you're not going to respect Daisy, respect the one about to pound the shit out of both of you and turn you into some nice leather pants." Bobbi speaks up, stepping forward. "Now, just get away from the robots, and me, Tash, and the lil' ones here will only beat you up a little bit."

" 'Lil ones'? You're not that much older than us!" Kate adds, not a fan of the age-shaming either. "I turned 21 last month!"

"Can all of you please stop arguing? We're trying to arrest these two." Natasha, the oldest one here by a few decades-thank god for healthy diets and prototype age-suppressant immortality drugs-scolds the two, getting an eyeroll, though their bickering gives Masque enough opening to step towards the controller for the robots.

"Hey, drop it!" Kate points her arrow at Masque, while the other three all draw their guns and point too, though Masque just smiles, flipping the switch and moving out of the way as the robots all come to life.

"Damn, this again." Natasha growls, readying for a fight, as the wedgie-bots burst out of their crates. There's only thirty of them, less than usual, and these ones can be broken, but without a Hulk, and their most powerful being the 21-year-old Inhuman leading the team, dealing with robots that are arrow/bullet proof is no easy feat.

"So, what are these things going to do anyway?" Viper asks, turning to Masque. "Slaughter them? Burn them? What kind of gory death are we expecting?"

"No death, just harming their dignity." Masque replies with a small chuckle, watching the four of them fight the robots.

Bobbi duals with one, smacking away its arms with her staves with relative ease, flipping up to kick its head off and landing in a crouch. Unfortunately she reacted a bit too slow to stop one from tackling her, and though she struggles the robot is able to get its hands on her underwear, tugging out the stretchy blue material, causing the brainy brawler to yelp and kick around.

"Stupid piece of-gyyaaa!" She lets out as she's lifted off by two of them, allowing her boyshorts to rise so high, showing a cartoon bird on the front and bird feathers on the back, earning a snicker from the others. "Quit laughing!"

"Sorry Bobbi, but it is pretty funny." Natasha admits, seeing her friend comically flail about, but this proves to be a bit too distracting as she ends up letting another robot knock her weapon from her hand. She tries to roll out of the way but it manage to hook onto her waist of her pants, pulling them down as she rolled, and letting the world see her red and black modal thong. Before she even realizes the robot hoists back on the skimpy-though-stretchy panties, tugging her back and pulling her up. "Ahg! OK, I take that back, not funny at all."

"Guess it's up to the 'lil' ones' to sort this out, huh?" Daisy mutters, firing blasts of vibrations at each robot that got close, making them fall apart before they could get to her, while Kate does an action roll away from one and leaves behind an explosive arrow in its shoulder, then fires some sticky-arrows at a couple more to keep them in place.

Things look great, until one robot uses another as a shield to get past Daisy's defence, pushing her head down and grabbing the back of her waistband, pulling the elastic white band back with the stetchy red material attached with it, showing the word 'ASSemble' written on the back with the Avengers logo replacing the A, then hooking the material over her face. She flails about, trying to get it off, unintentionally blasting Kate as she tried to duck, knocking her over.

"Hey, watch what you-oh frits." Kate mumbles as she feels robot hands hook onto her slightly exposed waistband, before her flowery purplish-bluish bikini panties and pulled up to the heavens with her with them, proceeding to swing her around.

Masque nearly bowls over in laughter, watching the scene. Mockingbird is pulled by two different robots who've taken her battle staves from her and are now somehow doing a double-propeller wedgie from the sides, Black Widow is bounced back and forth like a yo-yo by her surprisingly strong thong, Daisy bumps around blinded by her atomic all-the-while destroying things with her powers, while the second Hawkeye is spun around constantly by her similarly elastic underwear.

"Now, we leave." Masque adds, regaining her composure, after taking a picture for herself.

"Leave? But they're still alive and, I have to tell you, whatever weird things you're into, this does nothing for me." Viper replies, confused by Masque's apparent idea of 'victory'. Sure, seeing such troublesome heroines wedgied by their surprisingly quirky underwear choices is entertaining, but not the kind of torture she enjoys inflicting. There's not enough severed limbs or broken bones.

"Trust me, sticking around any longer gives them time to get out and-" Masque starts, before hearing a crash.

Looking over, she sees Daisy accidentally destroy part of the roof, causing it to fall and destroy the robot spinning Kate. The archer is tossed flying, though she recovers after crashing and quickly fires an arrow at the one holding Natasha by her thong. Natasha falls to the ground, dazed but OK, before taking a pistol and head-shoting one of the robots holding Bobbi. Taking the opportunity, Bobbi grabs the now-freed baton and shoves it into the head of the other robot to free herself completely, landing just in front on Daisy, stopping the dazed Inhuman and prying her underwear off of her head.

In one fell swoop, their victory quickly turns against them, as all four of the women quickly destroy any robots remaining, turning their attention to the villains.

"So, girls? Who wants who?" Daisy asks the others, cracking her fingers.

@@@

A few hours later, Viper and Masque groan, hanging from their underwear via a rather simple chain fence, with pieces of the robots hooked through the other side to keep them there. Kate's idea, an improvised version of what she called the 'baseball wedgie', one she learnt from Tommy, which took four hours for her to get out of. As Viper hangs from her skull-print white panties and Masque from her lace purple-pink undies, the heroines instead look on somewhat entertained.

"OK, I take that back, _this_ is indeed a great form of torture." Viper growls, struggling to get down, as Masque remains silent, refusing to give them the satisfaction of squealing.

"...I mean, I just didn't expect you to be a fan of that show." Daisy muses, as her and the others talk about their underwear choices as they await their escort.

"I'm not, really, but I kinda wanted to get underwear themed me, since you know, there's Iron Man themed underoos and Captain America undies out there, but no Mockingbird undies. Feels sexist, if you ask me, but since there's none I just settle on anything bird themed." Bobbi explains, holding up the front of her underwear just high enough to show the cartoon bird head again. "Honestly, never even knew this was from a show."

"So I see you're wearing the design of the month." Natasha points out as she talks to Kate, causing her to raise an eyebrow. "MeUndies? I assume those are new."

"Yeah, actually, got them this week. How'd you...?" Kate starts, until Natasha rolls her eyes, showing the tag of her own.

"James suggested the site since he likes their boxer-briefs." Natasha explains, letting the thong snap. "Have to admit they're not bad."

"Yeah, they're super-convinient too since I hate buying underwear at the store." Kate responds with a laugh.

"Uhg, tell me about it." Daisy adds, merging the conversations. "Especially if, a much as you try not to, they somehow recognize you from that one time you fought alongside Captain America, and so they know who you are and insist on talking to you?"

"A-men to that. That was the worst part about being on a major Avengers team." Bobbi also adds, groaning a bit. "When you walk away hearing them call over their friends so they can talk about how 'Hawkeye's wife just bought some cheekies' and you want to just burry your head after."

"Have any of you just tried wearing a hat and sunglasses when you shop? Its surprisingly effective." Natasha interjects, though before any can reply their extraction arrives, in the form of a small private aircraft, piloted by the Winter Soldier himself, Bucky Barnes.

"So, how was-"

"Not talking about it." Daisy responds quickly, walking past him, making him raise an eyebrow as he notices the red material sticking out of her uniform.

"What happen-"

"Ask for any details I take out your pretty little eyes." Bobbi adds, giving him a mildly amused/mildly annoyed expression a she walks past him, the blue of her underwear visible as well.

"Did something-"

"What did the ladies _just_ say, Barnes?" Kate retorts, growling a bit as she too walked past, trying to make an effort to stuff her underwear into her leather pants

"I uh, I'm not sure what to say here." Bucky muses as Natasha gets on last, sitting next to him. "Uh, are you going to bring those two in?"

"Masque and Viper? Not right now; they may-or-may-not have seen and-or done something we'd much rather not have on an official report." Natasha explains, also trying to hide her stretched out thong. "We're cutting them loose, trackers in place of course, and we'll catch them later."

With a shrug, Barnes has the aircraft take off, leaving the two villains behind.

"So, how long do these things usually....?" Viper starts, turning to Masque.

"A couple hours. Fortunately...I have help." The Maggia leader responds, watching as said help arrives, in the form of a small sisterhood of villains; Asp, Titania, and a few faces Viper doesn't recognize. "About time girls. Feel free to let Viper down too. Viper, you're welcome to join us if you'd like."

"Yeah...that's never happening again." Viper declares as she's helped down, stuffing her underwear back into her tight green pants. "If _this_ is how the Maggia wishes to opperate, I'd rather stay away."

"Suit yourself." Masque shrugs, turning away with her team. "If you ever change your mind..."

And so, the story of how Viper and Masque stopped working together is told, one of the few occasions where Viper was the one disturbed by the other party's interests. Evidently, wedgies are not a thing enjoyed by the woman so evil the Red Skull was disturbed.


End file.
